The night is alive and the trees swing deliriously back and forth to their own crazy melody.
Cats and dogs hide in my bed, while the tap tap tapping of my computer keeps time with the fan in the window. Pushing cooling crazy weather into my room.
I am open to being a professional writer. I will start wherever. I have faith in the words I write and thats alot. I worry about my stomach still thinking there is a babe cooking in there but the words, yes the words.
Early morning quick day start for me. I perform best under pressure late at night.
Speaking of which nano starts November 1st. I am on it. Writing screenplays, my own thing. I make words happen.
Ok!
"As Long As You WANT It, You Can't Have It. Be It. And It's YOURS."
That makes sense. Stop banging your head against the wall of want and just sit there and think of whatever it is (being a employed freelance writer living in California) picture yourself doing it.
Last night I turned off the light early for me as I was overcome with this soft yet intense feeling of love. I lay there seeing this intense wonderful being who is just mine and lovely in my presence.
It felt write.
Let us all go towards what feels right.
Don't go peeking around the past unless thats where you want to be.
Adventures to the front, promise.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Some things
Sunday night again. Last Sunday night I was with my youngest at the hospital for her sleep study. She did really well and as soon as I get an acceptable photo editing program on this new Mac I will post some photos of her. Sad sad sad to see your little one in a hospital bed. She LOVED it though.
Ofcourse she has sleep apnea. I have known it and her Dad has denied it for years. I can't go back in the past and over ride his shit so I am going to move forward.
Today is the 3rd anniversary of our house fire. Here is a photo
:
Shudder.
Our laundry room destroyed. Severe smoke damage all over the house. I thought that we had alot of spider webs. They weren't actually spider webs. They were melted plastic floating around. I thought that was pretty cool.
Gotta end with something positive and bright. Halloween 2008 - theme - Nightmare Before Christmas. The coolest prop we had was a fogger that also blew fogger bubbles. It was mesmerizing. This year is my nephew Trevors first Halloween! This week I am going to paint my pumpkin. I got one that is skeleton face shaped. We'll see what I come up with.
Ofcourse she has sleep apnea. I have known it and her Dad has denied it for years. I can't go back in the past and over ride his shit so I am going to move forward.
Today is the 3rd anniversary of our house fire. Here is a photo
:
Shudder.
Our laundry room destroyed. Severe smoke damage all over the house. I thought that we had alot of spider webs. They weren't actually spider webs. They were melted plastic floating around. I thought that was pretty cool.
Gotta end with something positive and bright. Halloween 2008 - theme - Nightmare Before Christmas. The coolest prop we had was a fogger that also blew fogger bubbles. It was mesmerizing. This year is my nephew Trevors first Halloween! This week I am going to paint my pumpkin. I got one that is skeleton face shaped. We'll see what I come up with.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Dear 1
Dear Myself,
How are you? I hope this letter finds you well, because babe, you haven't been. While in retrospect, falling down and cracking your head on a dogcage is funny, its not one of those things you should be waking up in the middle of the night after a particularly intoxicating dream of uniforms and full relases and laughing about, then forgetting why you woke up.
Forgetting names for common things is also a bad sign.
Also, did you see how long that sentence went on? You can only be a great writer and do e.e. cummings shit once you have mastered the language.
You look like Meatloaf with the crack in the head in Rocky Horror Picture Show. Without all the bloating.
Remember the other day at the YMCA when you stood in the elevator for atleast a minute, thinking the elevator is moving, thinking you have pressed the down button (because the knee hates stairs) but in the realy real world, you have simply pressed the 'close door' button.
You should go see your doctor. It should only take 2 or so hours, bring a pillow. And to get weighed by the fully mustached nurse? What isn't to like.
Remember when doctors gave out suckers aka lollipops? Confusing signals indeed.
Two day old iced tea will perk you up, but will it ever make you happy? The same goes with food. Eat to live, not live to eat. Yes I saw the Taco Bell wrappers. Yes I know you have lost weight and inches.
Is any day a good day to get your new drivers license with hideous photo in the mail? It is not.
Cleaning the livingroom and breaking in the new MAC is not the way to fulfillment.
Remember how peaceful you feel when you just let go and let the pain and sadness fall down into the magma underneath the earths crust and let the dreams and intentions float up to the stars and whomever lives up there. Goddess, Jesus, Lakshmi?
You get to go to Los Angeles and Venice Beach and see the ocean and wear cool clothes and meet atleast one cool person, Francesca Lia Block. Maybe she can tell you something you haven't thought of.
How are you? I hope this letter finds you well, because babe, you haven't been. While in retrospect, falling down and cracking your head on a dogcage is funny, its not one of those things you should be waking up in the middle of the night after a particularly intoxicating dream of uniforms and full relases and laughing about, then forgetting why you woke up.
Forgetting names for common things is also a bad sign.
Also, did you see how long that sentence went on? You can only be a great writer and do e.e. cummings shit once you have mastered the language.
You look like Meatloaf with the crack in the head in Rocky Horror Picture Show. Without all the bloating.
Remember the other day at the YMCA when you stood in the elevator for atleast a minute, thinking the elevator is moving, thinking you have pressed the down button (because the knee hates stairs) but in the realy real world, you have simply pressed the 'close door' button.
You should go see your doctor. It should only take 2 or so hours, bring a pillow. And to get weighed by the fully mustached nurse? What isn't to like.
Remember when doctors gave out suckers aka lollipops? Confusing signals indeed.
Two day old iced tea will perk you up, but will it ever make you happy? The same goes with food. Eat to live, not live to eat. Yes I saw the Taco Bell wrappers. Yes I know you have lost weight and inches.
Is any day a good day to get your new drivers license with hideous photo in the mail? It is not.
Cleaning the livingroom and breaking in the new MAC is not the way to fulfillment.
Remember how peaceful you feel when you just let go and let the pain and sadness fall down into the magma underneath the earths crust and let the dreams and intentions float up to the stars and whomever lives up there. Goddess, Jesus, Lakshmi?
You get to go to Los Angeles and Venice Beach and see the ocean and wear cool clothes and meet atleast one cool person, Francesca Lia Block. Maybe she can tell you something you haven't thought of.
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