Almonds and orange juice

That is what my day entails. All the while I am ignoring the big issues. Moving in a week and a half, needing to pack again, the 2nd time in 4 months, to go to a new place that isn't as child friendly as here. It isn't easy. My lot is not easy. I can't seem to bring myself to pack and clean. My daughter is over and out with her friend. I am missing my boyfriend. Its been a month since we were together. I asked him to help me move and received silence in response. If I can't count on him when I need him, then what is left to do?

I have to leave my house more often, being here reminds me of all my responsibilities. Heavy with anxiety and pins and needles and sleepiness.

But being too worked up to sleep during the day.

I noticed tiny scratches on my glasses. I worry too much. I have to keep telling myself 'This is your life, make it good.' For so long I just put my head down and marched forward, waiting for the day my star would shine.

Now I realize that I have to shine my own star and have faith someone will notice.

I was thinking about Rand today because Peter Gabriel's 'Solsbury Hill' was on. I want to stand outside his house playing that song in hopes of reminding him of how brilliant he is and that I
hold him the utmost respect.

He could of been a guru. Instead he married a woman with cancer and draws faces on his kids lunch paper bags. Oh how the mighty have fallen.