Free thought

I look to myself to get things done.
My frustration is mostly at myself.
I will never be a golden girl.
But I will always be myself.
I probably wont morph into Godzilla, either.
But thats okay. Its okay. I have become accustomed to the pains.
I will be coming home from my trip to await more pains. Pain with a purpose.
Like birth.

Some people have wounds that have healed without really healing. They refuse to dig into them and let them ooze, see the sky. I have been here, so I understand. I just can't wrap my arms
around someone who refuses to budge, to go forward or backward. To merely
sink.

An open mind and heart can and do change the world. Or one persons life.

I happen to like the smell of bleach.

I am shy as heck about meeting new people but if we don't challenge ourselves to break out
of our email boxes, then whats the point? The worst would be if I clammed up and wasn't able to be myself, let the Rose hide and not shine my weird self, the best will be that I meet good new people.

I love coming back to my kids, I deplore coming back here and he is here. The sighs and lording, the 'I am the best' - always going on. To live with someone who HAS to be right all the time, that is just too much for me.

When I met him years ago, I was so glad to be around someone with smarts. I listen to him read a tongue twister book to our daughter, she isn't listening or interested. He is seriously reading it to prove to himself and whomever is listening that he can read it.

I would never want to hold such arrogance inside myself. I feel humble every day and blessed that I went from trailer living to mostly educated and loving and mostly healed and healing. Who is this man who is turning 40?

Please let us part in peace, let God find him a place nearby so that he is always there for the children. Let us find partners who fit us and kind destinies.

Dear God, Thank you for every day, even the ones that I can't get out of bed for.
Let my soul dance with Shawn and her friends in California. Let the waves lap at my
feet so I know I am at home. Mostly, Thank you for the people who have been able to get
some food in their bellies where there was none. Let tomorrow be brighter and kinder for everyone. Let your love shine down on us all, allow us to walk in faith, to be touched and touch. Amen.